Happiness is one of the most vexing problems of human existence: Everyone wants to be happy, of course. But what exactly does that mean? We tend to pursue self-set goals, such as wealth, power, fame or love, in the hope that achieving them will increase our happiness. But is this always the case? For example, how happy were you before and after your last pay rise? Do you even remember the exact amount or when it happened? Or did the event pass more or less unnoticed—the extra money fading into a mere number on a bank statement that you barely glance at?
Modern research, especially the emerging field of positive psychology led by Martin Seligman, has shown that for many people their intuitive assumptions about what would make them happy are not always true. In fact, as Daniel Gilbert beautifully points out in “Stumbling on Happiness”, we are notoriously and surprisingly bad at predicting what would need to happen for us to become happier. But the question is not necessarily a lost cause: By tapping into our subconscious through meditation, we can explore the subject of happiness in a much deeper, more engaged way. And, hopefully, learn a little more about ourselves and the direction our lives should take if we want to increase our perceived happiness and life satisfaction in a real and lasting way.
In this chapter we’ll build on two strengths we’ve developed so far: mindfulness, or open, non-judgmental awareness of what’s going on in our mind at any given moment, and concentration, or our ability to refocus our attention when our mind starts to wander. We’re going to combine these two into a technique you might call contemplation. In principle, this is something you can apply to any kind of challenging question or difficult problem that you want to engage with in depth. Today we’re going to try it out on the subject of happiness.
The specific technique we’re going to use has been developed by Tho Ha Vinh, author of “A Culture of Happiness.” Among many other things, he is the Program Director of the Gross National Happiness Centre in Bhutan and a Buddhist teacher.
Let’s get started:
First, bring to mind the question “What does happiness mean for me?"
Don’t try to come up with an immediate answer. Instead, focus only on the question itself. Let it simmer in your head. Let the words sink in. If you notice that your mind is wandering, gently guide it back to the question. Try to stay with it for at least five minutes.
Next, slowly change your mental mode from concentrating on the question to mindful, open awareness. Presumably, your subconscious will have absorbed the question by now and will be busying itself with it. Just listen for whatever comes up. Words, images, thoughts, memories, people, places, …? Try not to judge any of these things. Just be attentive to whatever arises in the mind. Again, give this a couple of minutes.
Now, take a piece of paper and write down whatever came to mind. Don’t worry about the structure, bullet points or fragments of thoughts are fine. Think of this steps like a quick brainstorming session.
Next, carefully read whatever is on the page in front of you and try to summarize it in a short sentence.
When you’ve got your sentence ready, close your eyes and take a conscious breath or two. Then read the sentence again. Now treat this sentence as you did the first question at the beginning: Concentrate on the words, let them sink in, but don’t examine them intellectually. If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the sentence. Allow another five minutes.
Return to open awareness: Pay attention to whatever arises in your mind now that you have contemplated the phrase. What images, thoughts, feelings arise? Again, don’t judge yourself. You don’t have to agree with everything. Just being aware is enough. Take another five minutes to do this.
Finally, if you like, take out your pen and paper again and write down anything else that comes to mind.